valerie.joy

rekindled fangirl fire

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way.  The delicious rush of fangirl longing, the constant simmer of anticipation.  Actually, it hasn’t been that long.  Perhaps a year?  When did my Jeffrey Dean Morgan fascination begin to manifest?

This time, it’s actually someone I’ve met.  Someone who impressed me from the moment he took the stage and started to speak.  How could I forget the way my funny fangirl heart just paused and relished every word and smile?  How could I forget the utter joy of sitting beside him and having that picture taken?

I didn’t forget.  I just let the memory fade into that nice place of convention moments.

He appeared on several episodes of a television show that I didn’t watch.  I wasn’t moved enough to watch it just for him.  And then he went back to New Zealand or Australia and did work there that of course I can’t see here.

Then along came V.

I started watching the show because I like Elizabeth Mitchell, Morena Baccarin, and Joel Gretsch.  Plus hello, aliens coming to earth?  How could I not watch it?  We watch it and we keep watching it but it’s stumbling a bit for me.
Then along comes the character Kyle Hobbes.

I actually didn’t watch his first episode the night it aired.  A couple of my friends text and messaged me about it and told me to watch it because one Charles Mesure was guest starring.  So even though I knew he was in the episode, it was still delightful to see his name in the credits.  And then he appeared.

Why did the first shot of him start with his rather muscular arms?  I mean really, were we going for beefcake from the start or what?  When the camera finally got to his face, the giddy fangirl in me thought, “Oh, I met him!”  I always get that giddy fangirl feeling when I see someone I’ve met in person on my tv or the movie screen.  I’m always oddly proud and supportive of their accomplishments.  And I’m always very happy when they appear on shows that I actually watch.

Charles’ character Kyle Hobbes is a bit of a mystery.  He’s a terrorist, a mercenary for hire.  But why are the V setting him up to take a fall?  Did they perhaps hire him and then he double crossed them?  As his character first said, “Show me the money.”  But he’s not getting money now.  So what is his motivation?  I want to know.  We had better know!

Seeing Charles again rekindled that fangirl fire I had for him back in 2004.  Back then, he was the end of a long line of Xena/Herc fellas I adored.  I can only say that I had too much on my hands with all the rest of the hunky men to pay as much attention to Charles as he deserved.  If I had met him back in heat of my Xena/Herc fandom days, I would have certainly adoringly created a website for him.  But by 2004, I was past the obsessive behavior of screencapturing my fellows on their various gigs and spending hours uploading website stuff to share with fellow fans.  My admiration took a more private turn.  My various websites have died slow deaths or have become mere tributes to the men I once and still adored.  At the moment, I’m still clinging to the thought that I will indeed update my Erik and Greg sites but no one seems in a rush for me to do so.

I don’t know why I’ve suddenly decided Charles Mesure is worthy of my fangirl adoration.  Maybe I decided long ago and it’s been dormant until now.  No one really knows.  I just know that there he is and here I am, fangirl fire blazing.

I went back and read my convention report from 2004, along with my little supplemental report on Charles.  It is an intriguing and revealing read.  I did like him back then.  I did feel that fangirl flame for him.  How long did it last?  When did it turn into just an ember?  And why begin anew again?

I don't really need to know why though the questions intrigue me.  I only know that I don't mind it at all.  It's just a wonderful distraction being a fangirl.

two things utterly unrelated

A CHRIS THING

The other night Chris Conrad appeared in one of my dreams.  I don't get it!  I had just watched a movie with Chris Evans (PUSH) and I'm currently fascinated with Chris Pine (of STAR TREK).  So why did I dream of Chris Conrad?  So odd!

 

Oh, I just admitted I'm fascinated with Chris Pine.  Great.  As if I need another fella to watch, right?  Right.  Still, it's fun having someone new to check out.  The feeling of discovery is addicting.  So far I've liked the stuff I've read on Chris Pine.  He seems to have a great work ethic and a commitment to his projects.  And yes, he's easy on the eyes.  Pretty boy?  Perhaps, but not as pretty as Jensen Ackles.  There, I said it.

 

As for Chris Evans, I always enjoy his work.  I liked PUSH a lot more than I thought I would and I must attribute that to Chris Evans.  He's got a nice sauciness.  He might even be prettier than Chris Pine.  But if I had to choose, well...

 

As for Mr. Chris Conrad, I'm still not sure why I dreamt of him.  I thought my regard for him had faded long ago.  Out of sight, out of mind when it comes to my fellas.  Terrible.  Alas.

 

GOOGLE VOICE

On the techie front, I am quite fascinated with Google Voice.  One phone number to rule them all!  And my new phone number ROCKS.  I just don't know what to do with it.  I am quite enamored with my cell phone number and I don't really want to have everyone change their info for me because I will still have my cell phone number for as long as I can.  But as I said, my new phone number ROCKS.  The last five digits spell NOBLE.  How cool is that?!

 

The other thing I LOVE about Google Voice is the fact that I can sms my Canadian friend and it's freakin' FREE.  You see, AT&T decided sometime last year to charge TWENTY-FIVE cents for each text message sent to Canada.  What kind of CRAP is that?!  Needless to say, I was quite upset (as was the husband since he's the one who caught it on our phone bill).  So my friend in Canada could still text me (incoming texts are free for me), but I had to reply in a round about way (I emailed her phone number with my replies).  It worked but it was awkward.  Now that I have my Google Voice number I can text my Winnepeg buddy from either my phone (the number she texts from shows as a number in Denver) or online!  It's clever and most wonderful and for now it's FREE.

 

Life is good.

resistance is futile?

If you don't already know this, I'm a bit of a fangirl in the boycrazy kind of way.  It's not really a huge secret.  After all, I have a whole domain dedicated to fellas who've lassoed my attention at various points over the last decade or so.  (Yikes, did I say decade?!)  I have done my very best to appear as merely a fan interested in their work and projects as opposed to their physical attributes.  Yes, of course the men in question have physical attributes.  I'm not above saying the first thing I likely noticed were their eyes or their smiles or their handsome faces.  I just don't drool on my websites.  How unseemly, don't you think?

The last person to warrant a slice of my website was Jensen Ackles.  The site didn't last long, though it's still up if anyone wants to see it.  I still adore him, of course.  How else to explain going to the movies to watch My Bloody Valentine 3-D?  I promised myself that I would not erect another online shrine to a favorite fellow and set about concentrating on keeping two of my sites as updated as possible.

My line of fellas has been steady for the past few years.  Mr. Thomson and Mr. Lee keep me busy enough on the website front and my fangirl tendencies have been satisfied by the usual suspects (Jensen, George Eads, baseball players, etc).

Until now.

Enter Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

This attraction to JDM has been on the outer fringes of my fangirl consciousness since Supernatural debuted.  But as I'm a Jensen devotee by nature these days, any thoughts of JDM were quickly dismissed.  But were they?  Perhaps I merely pushed them down and locked them away.  I told myself I certainly did not need another distraction.  Sure, I'd keep an eye on him and his work, but he wasn't a necessity in my fangirl world.  Not at all.  Nope.

I haven't seen him on Grey's Anatomy at all, but I think he (and Harry Connick Jr.) was the best thing in P.S. I Love You.  In fact, I'd watch that movie again just to see him (and Harry Connick Jr.) even though I don't really buy Hilary Swank as a romantic lead.  Oh, and the soundtrack is nice too.  And I'll keep hoping that he makes a return to Supernatural because what's better than all the Winchesters on screen together?  Exactly, nothing.  Oh, and I've seen a few episodes of The Burning Zone. As fun as it is to see a younger JDM, I think he's one of those men who's aged rather nicely and looks better now than he did then.

So as I said, JDM has been on the outer fringes of my fangirl consciousness and I tried not to pay him too much mind.  I resisted the appeal of his smile and warm timbre of his voice and the rugged good looks and tousled dark hair.  Yet I couldn't help but notice his charm on screen and I acknowledged the usual signs of fangirl giddiness, but I never gave in.

Until now.

Oh, the perils of seeing semi-favorite, always noticed actors in a live setting.  It's dangerous, I tell you.  Either the object of attraction fails in every sense and you walk away lighter in the imagination or the object of attraction glows with more than you anticipated and you fall headlong into the light and you just give in.  And oh how sweet it is to give in.

The first prickles of awareness.  The delicious shiver of anticipation.  There's nothing like the beginning blush of acknowledging a new fascination.

I believe in the back of my mind I was setting myself up to enjoy whatever JDM delights might emerge during the Watchmen panel at WonderCon.  I hoped he would be there.  I read a couple of articles on him before setting out to the convention.  When I watched the G4 Watchmen special, I made sure to listen when he spoke.  I knew I was going to like whatever I saw during the Watchmen panel.  If I'm truthful, he's a big reason I want to see the movie.  I probably wouldn't have cared so much on a whole if he wasn't in the movie.  Now I just want to watch the movie on its own merits, of course.  JDM in the movie is just bonus.

So sitting in the Esplanade Ballroom, I was ready and open to enjoy the Watchmen panel.  When the actors were introduced, I was quite delighted to hear JDM's name.  And he has a wicked sense of humor, which went over well with me.  There's just something a little naughty about his smile and the twinkle in his eyes.  I like that.  Oh, and the movie looks like it's going to totally ROCK.  And after watching the panel and listening to the director and others, I know I'm going to appreciate the film even more.

I might have let the fascination rest if I hadn’t gotten so much attention from the pictures or videos I took.  Truth be told, I took them all to share with my friend P, a lady who has had JDM on her mind for a long time.  I didn’t really think anyone else would care so much about my goofy pictures and silly videos.  It makes me feel nice.  JDM has lovely fans.  Always a good sign.

So will this interest turn into a full blown fangirl/boycrazy thing for me?  I’m not sure.  Will I mind if it does?  Not so much.

P reminded me the other day, "Remember, I saw him first."  But I think she secretly wants to get me back for the other stuff I might have inadvertantly gotten her hooked on.  What did she say?  Oh yes, "payback."

So there it is, something new, something different lighting my fangirl fire.  Will it burn hot and fast, then turn to ash?  Or will it glow steady and bright well into the night?

Stay tuned.

harkening back to those days of ares

I miss being part of an active fandom.  You know, the thrill of gathering with fellow friends and poring over episodes, writing fan fiction, and generally being crazy over a show or a character on the show or maybe just the actor.  I miss it.  Maybe I should say I miss being active in a fandom.  More accurate, eh?

My first and only real foray into a fandom was Xena/Hercules.  To be truly accurate, it was really all about Ares, played brilliantly by the late Kevin Smith.  He was the reason I started watching Xena and Hercules.  He was the reason I delved into the wonderful world of the internet.  And even though he wasn't there for the first one, he's the reason I started attending the Xena/Hercules conventions.  He was also the reason I started writing fan fiction, letting loose dormant creativity and channeling it into something other people would read.

On a not so secondary note, my fandom love also encompassed many of the other male guests from both shows, including but not limited to: Erik Thomson (Hades), William Gregory Lee (Virgil), Bruce Campbell (Autolycus), Karl Urban (Cupid and Caesar), Timothy Omundson (Eli), Joel Tobeck (Strife), Chris Conrad (Young Jason), Ryan Gosling (Young Hercules), Dean O'Gorman (Young Iolaus), etc.  I'm sure if I think more about it, I could come up with more fellas from the shows.  Even now, I still follow their careers and think back on the times I was lucky enough to get an autograph or exchange an email or just meet in person.

Being part of an active fandom for me meant gathering online with fellow like-minded fans and writing stories or sharing experiences or reminding each other of upcoming events.  I also found ways to express my devotion to certain actors by creating websites dedicated to them.  Of course, Kevin Smith and Erik Thomson were my first fansites.  Both sites are still up and I even still update the Erik site when I get news.  I was also one of the first websites dedicated to William Gregory Lee.  My claims to fame!

As WONDERFUL and THRILLING it's been to meet the different folks from the shows (and it's been utterly WONDERFUL and THRILLING), the thing I really miss about the whole fandom thing is being with my fellow fans.  Sitting in the auditorium and sharing a laugh with everyone else.  Actually knowing a lot of the fans in the audience.  Standing in line with fellow fans whether for autographs or photo ops.  Being a fan among fans who are also friends.  I miss that very much.

I've been very lucky to have made real friends from our mutual love of a certain Kiwi.  He was our beginning and he brought us together to go forth to tell stories beyond seeing him or meeting him.  We realized that not only did we like him or the shows, but we liked each other beyond our mutual love.  And so yes, I'm lucky not only to have met the wonderful Kiwi, but to have friends who are still my friends almost a decade later.

Still, I miss being part of a fandom.  There's an untold thrill about it.  Laughing at the flame wars, defending favorite characters, dismissing the annoying characters, writing up fan fics, maybe even meeting the objects of our admiration, looking forward to the next episode, gasping at the plot twists.  All of that and sharing it with other like-minded fans.  I miss it so very much sometimes.

These days I still adore certain shows and various actors, but I shy from actually joining any forums or communities or anything like that.  Maybe it's my age or maybe I just know nothing will compare to the wonder of that one and only fandom.  And really, nothing has caught me so much as to inspire me to write fan fic or gussy up a website, so how much can I actually contribute to the fandom?  Even as my regard for Xena/Herc lives on, nothing on these days has piqued my fangirlish ways.  Oh sure, I'll watch CSI religiously and even read some fan fic (mostly Nick-oriented) but will I write anything?  Nah!  Actually, the only fan fic I do read these days (and it's just come on recently) is Nick-oriented.  As for the shows I watch routinely (Lost, The Office, Fringe, etc), I only watch and don't engage with fellow fans (unless you count the husband as a fellow fan).  I miss the connections, but I'm gunshy to reach out.

Sometimes I think about going back to my character Kiari (Priestess of Ares, Liaison to Hades) and writing another chapter for her.  But most of the time I don't finish the thought or the story or the words.  She lives in a different time and place now.  Perhaps just as my fandom ways live in a different time and place now...

Thursday night means my boys are on

The top two on My List are Jensen Ackles and George Eads.  In that order. I say they share the top spot but if pressed I will readily admit Jensen is number one. Yes, I'll proclaim it and show my regard for him in various ways, the biggest being he's always my top banner on my LJ, as well as the mood icon when I post. I would love to meet him and probably could have by now, but I haven't yet. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm not 20-something and a total weakkneed fangirl. I dunno. Regardless, Jensen is The One. You know, that One.

Jensen and George share a few other things besides me as a fangirl. 1) They are both from Texas. 2) They were both born on the 1st of March of their birth year. 3) Their respective tv shows are on at the same time on Thursday nights. 

So which show does this self-proclaimed Jensen fan watch?

If you said Supernatural, you're wrong. And I'm really at a loss to explain it! Jensen's Dean character appears in every episode I've ever watched, yet I tune religiously to CSI with the off chance off seeing Nick Stokes. Is CSI a better show? I'll just say it's different. Don't I love Supernatural? Well, as a matter-of-fact, I do. So why do I watch CSI instead of Supernatural? Someday I'll know the answer.

In the meantime, I've been recording Supernatural with the intention of watching it. But have I? Just a few eps here and there. And I've seen every ep of CSI this season. Go figure.

Still, I adore Jensen best. Just so you know. ;)